HELP AND SUPPORT YOUR FRIEND TO CHANGE SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

How you can help your friend, if your friend has suicidal thoughts and wants to give up his life. And how you can change his negative thoughts?

Many of us have had suicidal thoughts at some point in our lives. Feeling suicidal is not a character defect, and it doesn't mean that you are crazy, or weak, or flawed. It only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. This pain seems overwhelming and permanent at the moment. But with time and support, you can overcome your problems and the pain and suicidal feelings will pass.

Anyone who tries to kill himself has got to be crazy. Perhaps 10% of all suicidal people are psychotic or have delusional beliefs about reality. Most suicidal people suffer from the recognized mental illness of depression, but many depressed people adequately manage their daily affairs. The absence of craziness does not mean the absence of suicide risk.

What kind of thoughts may someone have?

When someone feels suicidal, they may have some of the thoughts listed below.

• I have let myself and other people down.
• I am a burden.
• I am a failure.
• No one needs me.
• What’s the point of living?
• I will never find a way out of my problem.
• I have lost everything.
• Things will never get better for me.
• Nobody cares about me.
• I’ll show them what they have done to me.

Some people feel guilty for thinking about suicide if they have people who care about them. This can sometimes make the feelings of despair worse.

 

HOW CAN YOU BE SURE ABOUT YOUR FRIEND TO NEED YOUR HELP?

 

If your friend tells you that he/she is feeling suicidal or that they want to end their life, it’s important to take it seriously.

It’s totally understandable that hearing your friend say this might make you feel overwhelmed or worried, especially if your friend is very upset or angry. However, if someone talks about wanting to die by suicide, the positive thing is that they are not keeping it to themselves; by telling someone they are most likely reaching out to you for help

Things you can do:

Don't keep it a secret:

Your friend may have asked you to keep it a secret or made you promise not to tell anyone. They might be frightened of what might happen if someone else knows. It is very important that you do tell someone - even if you have promised you would keep it a secret. Your friend might get mad at you - but it's better that they are alive and well.
The situation puts a lot of pressure on you - so the best thing to do is to talk to a parent, counselor, teacher, or doctor.

Encourage your friend to seek help:
It’s important your friend seeks help from a parent, counselor, psychologist, youth worker, teacher or doctor, or one of the helplines mentioned above. Although it might seem hard, these people have the training to help your friend move to a better, happier place. 

If your friend refuses to see someone:
Keep encouraging them to see someone. If you feel able to, you might offer to go with your friend when they speak to someone about their suicidal thoughts. It might also be helpful to forward them the fact sheets and stories we have here about suicidal thoughts. 

Offer your support:
It’s probably really scary for your friend when they realize they need help. Let your friend know that you care and spend time with them. Just knowing that somebody cares about them can be reassuring because they may feel very alone and as if no one cares. 

Choosing when to talk:
Timing can be an important part of talking to someone about sensitive stuff. If possible, and if they are not at immediate risk of harming themselves, try to choose a time when you're both relaxed. If you're not sure what to say, you might try saying 'I'm worried about you', 'You told me the other day you felt like ending your life, do you still feel that way?'.

Ask them to postpone the decision/create a toolkit:
While your friend may feel like they have to act now, it’s worth encouraging them to postpone that decision. They can keep a list of other things they can do to distract themselves and might find that their suicidal thoughts go away over time.

Thoughts don't need to lead to action
Remind your friend that thoughts about taking their life are just thoughts and it doesn’t mean they have to act on them. 

Get informed:
It might be helpful to have a general knowledge of suicide and depression. By doing this you may be able to better understand what your friend is going through and what might help.

Use Distraction Technique:

Distraction techniques can include:

• Read a book or magazine
• Watch a film or TV
• Go to a museum
• Walk-in a green space like a park
• Draw or paint
• Listen to music
• Sing
• Listen to nature
• Spend time with a pet

 Looking after yourself:

When you are worried about a friend you might feel stressed or overwhelmed and forget to look after yourself. Speak to someone you trust, such as a family member, friend, or counselor, and make sure you spend some time doing what you enjoy. You may want to play sport, hang out with other friends, listen to music, or go for a walk.

DID YOU KNOW?